Wild Dolphins

So I have seen dolphins and other wildlife in zoos and in water shows, but you rarely get to see these things outside of their enclosures. I never thought that I would see dolphins outside in the wild in a million years, but that all changed yesterday. I went on an all day trip to see dolphins and other things. Dolphins were the first part of the trip. I saw a whole herd of them just swimming in unison right alongside our boat. Maybe I'll post some pictures of that. Then I we went snorkeling. There is so much life out there in the ocean. We saw tons of fish just swimming right underneath us. It was all so pretty and cool, then we ran into jellyfish and that wasn't so cool. Jellyfish may be cool looking, but they sting a lot and that in itself just makes things uncool. Anyhow I narrowly avoided swimming into about four or five jellyfish that just popped up out of nowhere. I thought that was pretty skillful. Anyways, at the end of our trip we camped out on this beach and we had a picnic and afterwards went swimming in a little cove. I went and swam in this little underwater cave. that was really col there were all sorts of crabs and things just crawling on the walls. at the end as we left the marina there were schools of minnows just outside the boat that scattered anytime something fell in the water. I loved it and I thought that It was one of my top ten favorite days of all time.

New Adventures at Christmas Time

Every year at Christmas time I generally spend a lot of time indoors playing card games or going to the movies and doing things like that. Of course turkey and other holiday goodies have their place but what would it be like to have Christmas in a completely different way. What if you went swimming around instead of staying inside? What if you got a sunburn because you stayed outside way too long? Christmas would definitely be very different.

So here I am in the Middle East and I am loving it. Everything is different. I thought that maybe there would be something I'm used to out here, but everything is new. I don't really know too much about Islamic custom, but I'm pretty fascinated with how these people live. It is so different from the way that I'm used to living. Anyhow, This Christmas I'm swimming, hiking, and spending a lot of time outdoors. It is so refreshing to spend all this time just outside and busy.

It almost seems like I got transported to some magical wonderland that just invites me to do everything. It's kind of funny but I have spent more time this year outside of the U.S. than inside it. I don't really know how that works out but one thing is clear. I'm not giving blood anytime soon. I've already racked up six years outside of the country and counting. Apparently I'm a threat for mad cow disease, but despite that I'm doing just fine.

So I've come to the conclusion that I love the U.S. a lot. This place is fun and has that magical ring to it, but I do feel like the U.S. is my home. There is a lot to be said about having a home. There are some people that associate a place with home. They live in one place for a really long time and get so used to it that they can't really consider other places as being home. For me I've moved around enough times that I stopped associating myself with the places, but I do associate with the people. I have to be able to feel at home in so many places just because the people there made it an amazing place. I could meet wonderful people and make strong friends that last. Here I just know my family. I feel at home with them, but outside of that little circle things get complicated. I don't know anyone else really. But I do have a home and I am grateful for that.

Christmas is a wonderful time with its own magic. This is my favorite time of year and I am just excited to see what lies in store.

21. Conclusions

Dear Sister Steadman,

Over the course of my blog I have tried very hard to get everything to show how I think and feel. I write about things that keep ringing in my head and things that stick with me. I just want you to know that by writing all of these things down I have gotten to know myself better and learned more about what it is that I value most. Whether I talked about thanksgiving or breaking up with girls, I talked about the things that were most important to me. I am glad that I get to express myself and get things across that maybe other people can't understand any other way. I didn't really try to make this a blog about what happens to me but a blog that dealt with the way I view things and understand the world. I hope you have enjoyed the things you read or at least got to understand me better.

Sometimes I feel lost and confused and I think that by writing it out in a blog I was able to straighten some things out and make my life better.

20. Death, Roses, and Saying Goodbye

Goodbye. Maybe you think that word is just a fleeting thing. Maybe you think that the person you say it to will have the chance to say hello again. Most of the time I accept that goodbye is a permanent thing. When I walk away, I will more than likely never see you again. I rarely get a second chance to make things right. I rarely get to reunite with the ones I love. I came to grips with this fact early on.

As a child I had to move many times. I would tell my friends goodbye and hope beyond what was rational to see them again. My first friend that I can remember was Daniel. He lived across the street we would get together and play all the time. That was the first year that I went to school. After I moved, I never saw him again. He practically died for me. My friend and I never talked again, we never saw each other again and it was the first time that I really experienced loss. There were many more friends that came and went over the years. I only keep in touch with one. I've known him since the 8th grade. Everyone else has managed to disappear. Even family members have disappeared. My cousin Trent was the first one that really hit me.

The last time I saw him was at a family reunion. We were all playing games and having a great time. I never thought that I would see him die so soon. Three years later he died in a car accident while he and his girlfriend shopping to get ready for prom. I never got the chance to talk to him after that reunion and I never got to let him know just how much I respected him. All I do now is carry a post card with his face on it. I keep it in my pocket but I remember him. I don't want him to vanish altogether. But he isn't the only one. There are more people I want to keep alive. I just don't know how.

When it comes time, I will say goodbye to all the good people out here at college and go somewhere else. I want them to stay alive in my life. I don't want them to vanish, too. In the end, I don't know that there is much I can do to prevent the inevitable. People will come and go from my life and I will get stuck with a new sense of loss. I wish I could just send all of these people roses and let them know that they aren't forgotten but what good would it do. In the end I just remember them as a distant memory. Someday I will find a place that I can call home and I won't have to let that go. I can stay and I can grow close to things and not worry that it is going to end.

I hate being by myself all alone. Maybe someday I won't have to be.

19. What is Important in a Relationship

Some recent events have made me ponder on the subject of meaningful relationships. What are some key elements that make a relationship work? First I feel that both sides have to be equal. For example I cannot simply fail at everything and have my partner be perfect. That would drive me insane. If I were to text someone and they got mad because I didn't call them despite the fact that they weren't picking up the phone, I would be somewhat upset. Not everything can be my fault. It takes two people to make a relationship work. One person cannot simply change to meet the other person's expectations while the other stays the same.

Another big point I feel inclined to point out is the ability to compromise. No relationship is perfect. There will be conflicts of interest. People are not all the same. This is why people have discussions in which they work out their feelings and get over their difficulties. Another big issue is how people resolve their issues. I don't think someone has to yell in order to get a point across. People should be able to calmly resolve disagreements in a relationship. Never should a disagreement get physical. If you are a girl and you read this pay attention. NEVER EVER EVER LET A MAN HIT YOU! If there is one thing in this world that I find most base and disgusting it is when men abuse their wives. I have watched as women continue to live with men that destroy them in every way possible and I feel sick. If your man is physically abusing you walk away. It won't get better and he doesn't deserve to be with you. I won't even bother to comment further about that. There is no situation that makes it OK for him to do that to you.

Another thing that is important is the physical attraction. While this may not be the most important thing, it does play an important part in letting two people come together. Eventually other things happen and physical beauty is replaced with inner appreciation. We all grow old but love doesn't have to die with our good looks. Everything is there to get us to the point where we discover what is special about a person. That is something that stands the test of time. We need to get to that point where we can discover these things in each other.

When these things come together we can find true love. Equality, compromise, temperance, and attraction all come together to create something special. Granted there are many other things that can add to this, but for me personally I think these are the most important.

18. Nothing Like Chocolate to Make You Feel Better

I don't care who you are chocolate makes you feel better when something horrible happens to you. When all of your plans go completely down the drain and the people you trust turn away from you chocolate does not. For instance let's say that I were put in one of those situations where every possible choice had a negative consequence. Hypothetically speaking let's say there was a girl that kept on stalking me to ridiculous ends and I was in no way attracted to her. I thought I had been more than obvious in letting her know that I didn't like her but apparently I wasn't blunt enough. It didn't help that I ended a relationship that day and wasn't really in the mood to deal with her in the right way. Mind you this is all of course extremely hypothetical. So during the time that I would have been on a date that had been planned all week but abruptly canceled, I hypothetically decided to hang out with one of my friends. She also happens to be the roommate of the hypothetical stalker girl. I don't think that stalker girl is home so I just hang out and have a fun time. I agree to go to a house party with my friend and her boyfriend when stalker girl wakes up from her nap.

This is the moment where I would hypothetically start regretting accepting the party invitation. Of course stalker girl decided to come to the party too. She loves parties and insists on giving me a hug. At this point in the hypothetical situation, I would come up with a very sarcastic and seemingly rude comment. I believe that off the top of my head I might make a reference to Frankenstein and imply that I have no idea why she is standing with her arms wide open. I might also insist that she should sit down. I think I'm being very obvious. She thinks I'm teasing.

Later at the hypothetical party, I don't really know anyone. She insists on sitting right next to me. I'm sorry but I don't think it is cool when someone starts staring at me every five seconds. Then the most insane situation arises. I am sitting next to stalker girl when the host of the party shows up with her friend. Now there are some things to know here. One stalker girl is very loud obnoxious and not very bright. These are things that I absolutely cannot stand in a girl. I can deal with people that aren't smart. They generally have other qualities that make up for it. Example, my best friend in Kansas is not intelligent by any means but he has a way of talking to people that makes them feel better. He is very personable and what he may lack in intelligence he makes up through networking. Stalker girl seems to play on her non-existing intelligence and tries to make a show of her helplessness. In a hypothetical world or even in the real world I will never find that attractive. On the other hand if we return to the hosts friend she is very kind soft spoken and intelligent. I believe I see the obvious choice that I would make if I had to choose between the two girls. So I ended up talking to the new girl for about an hour. Everything was going great. I made a few comments to the stalker girl so I wouldn't completely destroy her feelings when I ran into one of those morally difficult decisions. All of this being hypothetical of course.

"So my roommates and I have this dare going on in relation to Christmas..." She motioned over to the mistletoe that was so conveniently placed just a few feet away. The dare was to kiss a boy on the cheek under the mistletoe before the Christmas holiday. She wondered if I could help her. OK, basically she was wondering if I wanted to kiss her. I'm not that hypothetically blind. For most people this would be a no-brainer. As for me, I found myself sitting next to stalker girl who had been listening to the whole conversation. I can only imagine the horrible things she thought about as I had my conversation. I think it took me all of two seconds to figure out that this is probably the most amazing situation that I could ever find myself in.

The next thing I hypothetically remember involves me getting a soft kiss on the cheek. In the history of the kiss there are many that rank higher on the scale, but not in my book. I don't really go around kissing every girl I see, but this was amazing. I've never been kissed under mistletoe before. To top it off she was also very attractive. That still doesn't change the fact that stalker girl got extremely offended and may have stormed off in a hurry. I don't remember if there were tears involved. I had another ride home. In the end I ended up with a date and many angry text messages. Of course something like this is so imaginative it has to be fiction.

However if I were in a situation like this I would feel sad that i hurt someone's feelings. I really hate doing that. But I decided that if I have to choose between making myself miserable and making someone else miserable I know what I will choose. I'm not talking about going to the orchestra because my date loves it and I don't, I'm not talking about spending crazy hours doing service projects to help other people when I could be relaxing. I am talking about putting myself in a position to hurt myself emotionally. I don't deserve to be stuck in a relationship that is doomed from the start. I don't think the other person deserves that either. So I choose to be happy. I choose to make my life what I want it to be. For all the other times when I have heartaches and troubles there is always chocolate. It never runs away from me. It doesn't care that someone texted you that you were an animal and deserved to be thrown into oblivion. It just sits there and waits for you. It waits just like the right opportunity, waiting for you to rise and shine in the moment.

By the way she is really cute. I just thought I would throw that in.

17. A Dash of Cologne and a Well Placed Smile

I've always wondered how superstars can get away with all the things they do. Have you ever wondered how an actor can go and recklessly destroy thousands of dollars of property without facing any real consequences? I have and to be honest it bugs me. If I so much as say something out of place it will land me in trouble. How do they do it.

The only solution is their innate charm and some really good smelling cologne. I am more likely to forgive someone who looks and smells good before someone else. Another plus is the award winning smile that all movie stars seem to possess. Somehow seeing pearly whites just makes me feel good. Anyhow when all of these things are combined they seem to have a way of letting someone do anything. I have seen people get permission to do the most insane things just because they were amiable. I thought it was so cool I tried to use this amazing charm on people. Lets just say it didn't work out the way I wanted to. I think another thing that helps with this is the ability to lie. I definitely can't do that very well so I just tell the truth. I actually think it is better that way since it keeps really awkward things from happening later.

In the end I think it is just best if I stick to the things that don't require luck and smiles to keep me from getting burned. If I remain an honest and really straight forward guy I will end up with all I ever wanted.

16. The Joy that Keeps on Giving

I love to write as some of you may know and I really do enjoy reading something that I feel is new or has something to add to something that I thought I knew a lot about. I have read very many books and I still find new things when I read new novels. I can't seem to get enough of them. There are so many ways that someone can tell a story. For example Michael Crichton uses a form of first person narrative in "Eaters of the Dead" that resembles a journal. It stays easy reading because he keeps it in a single point of view. Bram Stoker uses a similar form of narrative however he uses multiple points of view to establish his story. Bram Stoker's narrative then becomes hopelessly confusing and difficult to follow. However to give him credit he did write on the very cutting edge for his time.

I guess the most classic form of literature that I find in the market is the third person narrative. That is the narrator witnesses everything and doesn't get personally involved. By that i mean he doesn't ever see directly through the eyes of the characters. He just seems to watch them from above. This can be seen in "Ender's Game," " The Hobbit," "The Eyes of the Dragon," and many other books.

Other rare mediums of storytelling include historical setting, short story compilation, and documentary. But I've seen that most authors stick to the mediums that sel the best. That is they stick to things that people are used to.

A perfect example of this is "Twilight." Stephanie Meyer doesn't try to write in an unknown style. She writes in the style that is selling the most right now. First person narrative. It is told through the eyes of Bella and she becomes the narrator of her own story. Other books that are coming out that sell using this format are "The Immortals" series by Alyson Noel and the "Jumper" series by Steven Gould and "The Hunger Games" by Suzette Collins. All are told up close and personal as if the main character said and did everything while writing it down.

This kind of writing makes it possible for the writer to write at a more personal and emotional level. Unfortunately it limits the author to a single view point. Things can't be looked at globally. The author in essence writes himself into a spot where he knows what is going on but his character hasn't put everything together and so he can't tell you. I personally think that mysteries are much easier to write this way.

In the end there are a million ways that a story can be told. Neither one is better than the other. That all depends on the writer.

15. The Best of Thanksgiving Times Two

Many people on the holidays find time to get together with family and eat a large turkey dinner that generally makes them want to fall asleep. It is the magic of the holiday. It is a singular event that doesn't repeat itself until a year later. Being that I live half way across the globe from my family I get to crash other people's big meals. I love big festivities and sensational dinners. They always make you feel like you belong to a group of something bigger than yourself. That is probably what I like most about the holidays. I remember that there is more to life than me and my own little world I create through books and movies. There are people out there in the world that actually care about me enough to spend time and ignore my obvious character flaws.

I have to admit though I try to keep it a secret, I am a horrible conversationalist. I tend to talk about the most boring subjects in the world and the things I find funny aren't really all that funny in any sense of the word. I kid you not I could be watching a movie and see a very sad part where someone dies and it is supposed to be very tragic, but I laugh. I'll see the lead actress fake tears and it seems like she's laughing or something. I then imagine in my head that she is really thinking "OK, just five more tears and I win 5 million dollars." I for some reason find that hilarious.

I will admit there are times when I am capable of crying at the movies. It just so happens that the last time I cried while watching a movie I was watching the Green Mile. I think I had just turned thirteen. Sometimes I lie about crying at movies just so people don't think I'm some kind of heartless monster. The thing is I just can't translate the movie into reality. I see it for what it is "Fiction." What I see generally is a group of entertainers taking to the stage to please people and make off with millions of dollars. Even when it ends up being a violent movie. I don't see real people dying I see a group of revolutionary filmmakers finding ways to simulate blood flow with a life sized doll. The times when I am most moved by film are the times when it can relate directly to my life.

Maybe that is why I love chick flicks so much. They all have something I can relate to in my life. Romance. Not to burst the bubble on all the guys who like action movies but when was the last time you found yourself surrounded by an armada of mercenary soldiers bent on world destruction but trying to kill you first? I love action flicks but they just don't hit me in any way as real. The only exception is when I read a book that gets turned into a movie. That is when my emotions get all worked up. I absolutely hate it when people take a wonderful idea and simply ruin it.

One of my all time favorite books to read is "The Last of the Breed" by Louis La'mour. It is one of two novels he wrote that doesn't fit in with his normal genre. It is an action classic. The characters are vivid and they make you want to keep reading. Unfortunately this book was made into a horribly done film. "Behind Enemy Lines" takes the basic elements of this story and does a horrible job of piecing them together. I watched it with my friend when it came out to theaters and we both instantly recognized it for what it was. We both agreed that it did not do justice to the story at all. However the thing that annoyed me the most was the lack of Credit given to Louis La'mour for his story. I don't care if he died years ago. It is still his story and he should get the credit for it.

That is a really random tangent which goes to show that people really must love me a lot of they can even follow a conversation like that without telling me how disturbingly weird I am. This year I went to two different dinners and had an absolute blast. I love the holidays and getting to spend it with others.

14. Speechless

OK I don't know if any of you ever feel like this but whenever I'm trying to impress someone I feel like I never say the right thing. I feel like I just screw everything up and say everything wrong. For example I can ramble on all day about books I've read and about the different things I am interested in studying but when it comes down to deeply personal things I choke. I think I try to impress people too much or maybe I try too hard. For example the other day I was talking to a girl I wanted to impress and I started talking about different books I'd read. Who in their right mind ever talks about Billy Bud in normal conversation? I don't think that anyone ever talks about that unless their a super nerd which I apparently am. I always thought that I was just a regular guy that just happened to be smart but recently I think I've crossed into the realm of really nerdy.

Anyhow this doesn't really help with the fact that I still have the tendency to freeze up when it comes to talking to girls I really like. Maybe this problem isn't merely limited to me. I was talking to my roommate and it seems that every time he tries to talk to the girl he likes he seems to freeze up. He is a very social guy that doesn't have the nerd problem but he still has the "I don't know what to say issue." Maybe it is a sad defect of the Y chromosome. We really don't know how to please our unfortunate halves. Then again I can think of plenty of guys that definitely know how to please their other halves so maybe it deals with the fact that I'm just plain weird. I came to grips with that years ago. I just never thought that it would ever come back to haunt me or give me problems.

At least I don't find myself asking what her favorite ring size is or what her ideal family size would be. I think that would be downright tacky. Then again I tend to be tacky sometimes.

13. What Happens Now?

OK so this is a really rough draft. I would appreciate your comments I need to do a lot of deletions and get rid of unnecessary details. At the same time some things are under described and deserve more time. I want you to help me know what to do with that and see what things you guys liked. Right now I'm at six pages so there is plenty of room for deletion mostly. I hope you can kind of make sens of what I wrote. It does mean something I hope you can spot it out. If you cant just let me know so I can maybe make things clearer. Thanks, you guys are the greatest.

What Happens Now?

Agent Sharpe peered down the dark corridor. He could barely see anything in the flickering light that only revealed glimpses of what was to come. Step by step he crept into the darkness. He had to find her before anything bad happened to her. She was at the end of this hallway. He just knew it. She was everything. He could never forgive himself if anything happened to her.

I absolutely loved the way Rose threw her hair behind her back and stared into my eyes. Her hair was a fiery red, and every time she did that her perfume would wash over and drown out everything. She just had a way of making me forget about all the stress and depressing things associated with college life. She was always there for me. I can’t think of anyone that made me feel quite like that. Rose and I were just sitting on the steps outside the dorm just as usual. It was a place that offered a little more privacy than most places in my apartment. I just felt more comfortable holding her in my arms knowing that my roommates weren’t watching our every move. I gently moved in and pressed my lips softly on her cheek. In the November air, her skin burned against mine. She was so warm and soft! I leaned back and she stared at me with those bright green eyes. It was one of those moments that seemed to last for an eternity. “What are you thinking about?” She asked it so innocently. There were a million things on my mind. More than anything though I just wanted to tell her how much I loved her. “I….” What if she wasn’t ready for this? What if she thought it was too soon? This would make or break our relationship. “You what? What are you trying to say?” I started sweating. I couldn’t do it. She was on to me. She knew exactly what I was trying to say. I looked away over to the left. Despite the awkwardness of the moment, she moved in a little closer and held on to me tighter. Maybe it won’t be so bad. “Rose, I lo…” This time my cell phone interrupted me. “Hold on just one sec.” I pulled out my phone and answered it. Normally I wouldn’t even acknowledge my phone, but I was expecting a call. I answered it. “Hey, Bri how’s it goin’?” My dad always shortened my name when he was talking to me. “Wait! You’re name isn’t Sean?” She practically screamed it in my ear. By the time I turned my head around to see what was going on, she was already on her feet. The look in her eyes told it all. “Hey Dad, can I call you back?” It wasn’t really so much of a question at this point. “Sure son. Call me back soon though.” I barely had time to put the phone in my pocket before I had more things on my mind. “I thought your name was Sean. Why did you lie to me?” She was hurt. The tremor in her voice made that point very clear. “Sean is my middle name. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.” All I got was a blank stare. “Rose, I love you. Please, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” There were already tears streaming down the sides of her face. “I’m going to have to think about this.” She took a step back. “Rose, please don’t go.” She took another step. “I really have to think about this. I’ll give you a call.” With that she just walked away. I think I heard her start to cry before she reached the bottom of the stairs. She must have felt betrayed. I hurt her and I didn’t even mean to. How did everything get so complicated? Why didn’t I just tell her who I was right from the start? I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone again. It was going to be a very long night.

In the middle of the Mojave Desert, it rarely snows. The entire first grade got the day off because of the snow storm. It lasted just a few minutes and there was barely enough snow to make a snowball, but we spent every single minute outside enjoying it. Muddy orange snowballs streaked up and down the sidewalk and all the other children shrieked with joy as snowballs crashed everywhere. Before too long, the sun came out and the temperature started to rise again. All of the snow melted and kids started to go inside to get cleaned up and have a cup of hot chocolate. I personally loved apple cider much better than hot chocolate. It just had a nice sweet and tangy taste that I couldn’t find in hot chocolate. When I walked inside to my house I could already smell the aroma of hot apple cider in our home. “Hey Mum, I’m back!” I said it with that kind of excitement that only a first grader could muster. I must have been positively beaming because my mother came into the room with a large smile that was so enchanting and said with the calmest voice in the world, “Well it looks like you had fun.” I went and gave my mom the biggest hug I could. It was when I let go that I saw it sitting on the coffee table. My journal was sitting next to her crochet needles and opened up to the second page. “What is that doing there?” I still hadn’t put two and two together. “Well, I was cleaning your room and I found that lying on the floor.” About that time was when it started to click for me. “I read some very nice stories in there. You’re such a great writer.” I completely forgot about the cider “Why did you read that? It says on the front that it is my journal. I didn’t want people to read that. It was for me.” “Honey,” she said it so soothingly, “there are some wonderful stories in there. I loved the one about the dog and the scientist.” That one was a bit too much for me to take. I was still working on that story it was going to be my masterpiece. I hated it when people saw my unfinished works. Even when I was finger painting I hated it if someone looked over my shoulder. Why would she read that? I started to choke up. I didn’t want her to read those stories anymore. I ran and grabbed my journal off the table. She tried to calm me down and stop me, but I wasn’t listening at this point. I tore up the stairs and locked myself in my room. She banged on the door but I didn’t listen. I opened my journal and looked at the first story “Captain Lizard and the Evil Mouse King.” I flipped over to the last one “The Scientist’s Dog.” My mom had read all of them. They were my own personal stories. No one was supposed to read them except for me. I took the first page and started ripping.

Parker threw open the door to his safe. The authorities would be getting there soon. He had to destroy all the evidence. All of the plans and designs had to be destroyed. He rushed out to the garage and grabbed a gas can. Nobody was going to get anything from him. He put all of the papers inside his fireplace and started dousing it with gasoline. Men in black suits started to run up to the house. There was a loud beating on the door. But they were too late. Parker lit a match and threw it in. All they could do now was watch it burn.

I walked into Taco Bell and sat down. I wasn’t quite ready to order yet. It had been a long day and I was just looking to relax and get something good to eat. It was really crowded and there weren’t many open tables. I hadn’t been sitting very long when a girl my age came up to me. “Can I sit here?” I really didn’t know what to say. “Yeah, sure.” It must have come out kind of strange because she just gave me a puzzled look. “Are you British?” I hadn’t planned it but what was I going to lose. “Yeah, I’m just down here for school. Hi my name’s Gary.” I said it with my best British accent. I didn’t feel too bad that I was lying to this girl. In all reality I’d probably never see her again. She just seemed so thrilled to meet a foreign person. “That is so cool I love your accent.” OK so I had to be careful that she wouldn’t try to give me her phone number or anything. Would that be all that bad though? It sure would make for a great story. “So what’s your name I don’t know that I asked you yet?” She seemed thrilled that a foreigner would give her the time of day. “I’m Tiffany.” She almost died with enthusiasm and thrust her little hand to shake mine. I just took her hand in mine and shook it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Tiffany.”

It was another lonely birthday. I just happen to have the misfortune of having my birthday in the middle of summer. For any other kid that means they don’t have to go to school on their birthday. For me that means I have to move right before my birthday. I’ve spent many of my birthdays in hotels or on the road. This one was no different. We were going to another town in Germany. I just barely figured out who all of my friends were. What was going to happen now? Who would I meet and what would I tell them? My parents were generally pretty good about getting a cake and some presents for my birthday. We had a small party as usual and I went out and tried to find new friends. What was I going to be this time? An athlete? A nerd? After my party I walked out into the street to see if there were any kids my age playing or doing anything. I wanted to find someone I could at least talk to. That is when I met Rob. Rob liked to play basketball but his parents grounded him from going outside because he had bad grades in math. Every day he had to do a sheet of problems before he could go and play with other kids. Basically I had the perfect option to be the nerd.

I felt ridiculous dressed up like a vampire. I don’t care if it’s Halloween; I still felt ridiculous. After a while, I took off my cape and just walked around in my regular clothes. That’s when I saw this beautiful girl dancing in the middle of the dance floor. I just wanted to go up and talk to her but I was just a little bit too shy to start up a conversation. I waited until the next slow dance and went up to ask her. “Would you like to dance?” I forget what it was really that we talked about. But before the end of the night she gave me her number on a napkin. “I don’t really give out my number all that much so take that for what it’s worth.” And with that she left. We went out the next weekend and to be honest I was so nervous. I just didn’t know what to say most of the time. I mean what do I tell her most of the time. “Where did you grow up?” Well I grew up in eleven places all across the U.S. and the world. “I grew up in Kansas.” “What do you like to do?” I like to impersonate people and pretend that I’m a foreigner when I’m shopping, apart from that I love to go to house parties play sports and read books. “I love hanging out with friends, playing sports and reading books.” Almost everything was there. What else do I tell her about me? Should I really be letting her in like this? What happens now?

Agent Sharpe had his weapon drawn long before he got to the end of the corridor. There Parker was. The man who started it all. There was just one hitch to the whole thing. He had her by the throat. Agent Sharpe wasn’t going to let himself make the same mistake as last time. He wasn’t going to be the one to hurt her again. “Parker just let the girl go and we’ll just walk away.” Parker just shook his head and tightened his grip on the girl. “She’s not going anywhere with you.” Sharpe took a step forward. “It seems like we have a little standoff happening here. How’s it going to end Parker? What’s next?” Parker just stared at him with a blank expression.

To be honest I have no idea how it ends. I’ll have to get back to you on that one.

12. Angry Omelets

OK, for a few years now my sister has raged about how the hospital next to where I live cooks the best omelets every Monday night. She has been going since 2002. Anyhow today was the last day they were going to do it for the year. They apparently don't do it during the month of December. I had never been and my sister though that it was the perfect time for me to be inaugurated into the tradition. I had absolutely no idea that this would be much more than just a simple dinner.

My sister and her friend love to heckle the chef and he lovingly shouted back at them. I didn't know that this was their tradition and that he practically yells at everyone. That was apparently the allure of omelet night, to get yelled at by omelet man. I will admit despite his "anger" he was hilarious. It took me a while before I realized that the man actually wasn't angry he just did it for a show. Then I started laughing.

Most of his comments were directed at couples. He would specifically target the guys and make them know that they were whipped or that they were better looking than the other guy that came through with their girl the last time. I apparently was too slow in choosing what went into my omelet.

I have never been to something quite like this before. I have to admit that I really did have a fun time and the food was excellent. I just have to think of something that I can say back next time.

11. Things That Sneak Up On You

My brother used to tell me that I was the most gullible person on the planet. Sometimes I think He might have been on to something. I really do fall for things super easy. One time a friend of mine had a crush on the same girl I liked. I told him that I really liked her and that I was planning on asking her out. I just hadn't gotten the courage to do it yet. I sat down next to her at lunch and started talking to her. I just didn't have it in me to ask her out. Anyhow my friend came and told me that some of my friends needed help with something really quick and that it was urgent. We started to walk away. I told Kelly bye and kept going. Halfway to our destination, my friend said he forgot something but that he would catch up really quick. I went on and made it to where he said everyone would be waiting for me. There was nobody there. I really didn't know what was going on. Pete never came. I was confused but thought that maybe some guys were looking for me somewhere else so I started to wander around a little bit. I couldn't find anybody. Since I only had about 10 minutes left in my lunch period I just sat down ate the rest of my lunch and went to class. That's when I found out what had happened. Pete went behind my back and asked her out. Sadly, she said yes. He also spread all sorts of bad rumors about me. I felt really devastated and didn't know what to do. It just caught me by surprise. It came when I least expected it.

There are a few things that happen to be like that. For example pop quizzes just come out of nowhere. I don't know of a single person that likes a pop quiz. Simply put they are evil. but not all random things are evil. Take snowball fights for example. They are fun and more often than not completely spontaneous. Today there was a girl that told me that she wanted to go out on another date with me. First off, I thought I had screwed everything up to begin with and second off who really gets a second chance. I usually don't, but there it was. I don't know what is going to happen but I am pretty excited and hope that this turns out. Not everything that sneaks up on you is bad. Sometimes the thing that comes out of nowhere can be your ticket to a better place where you don't have to be stuck in the slow lane.

10. The Candy Smugglers

I love going to movie theaters especially late at night, but I hate buying candy there because it is so ridiculously over priced. So I smuggle in my movie snacks. I really love bringing gummy worms or sour candy in with me to a movie. It just makes my movie experience all the better. But if I'm eating sour candy I have to have a drink to wash it down with. I just don't feel justified in paying 4.99 to get a soda. So I generally buy a one liter bottle of something bubbly and just sneak right on in.

It is so easy to do in the winter because I can just wear a coat with a lot of pockets. It is much harder to smuggle things into the theatre when you are just wearing a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. That is why you bring a girl with you. the girl will always bring her purse and you can smuggle anything you want in with you using the purse. This if course brings up the whole talk of sharing if you are on a date. If you share food it is always a good precursor to hand holding or cuddling. Of course if you are sharing food with your sister you can always just bring her favorite candy and thank her profusely. We don't live in Arkansas it doesn't work to cuddle with your sister to let her know that you appreciate what she did. That is just wrong and disgusting. But I firmly believe that something equally disgusting is the price of snack food in the movie theater.

Last night I watched "Love Happens" with my sister. Needless to say she brought a big purse.

9. All the Little Things

I've found that people generally like it when you keep tabs of their life events. If something big happens they like it when you notice. For many of us this means that we need to keep in constant contact. This can lead to you finding out funny stories. For example my cousin managed some how to cut herself with a butter knife and had to get seven stitches. I still give her crap about that.

Today my brother somehow dropped a butcher knife and it impaled his foot to the ground. I think he is being very secretive as to how he really did this with a butcher knife as merely dropping it would probably not have the grand effect that this did. My brother tends to pride himself in being the responsible one so maybe that has something to do with it. Anyhow when I talked to him I had no idea that I would hear such a fabulous story. I have to admit apart from the fact that he is in a cast and has a completely severed ligament, it was pretty dang funny.

I like how life has a way of throwing things right at you. Sometimes we just have to be ready to accept what comes our way and deal with it as best we can.

8. The Quote Board

I don't know how many people do this but I keep a quote board with all the random funny things people say. If my roommate Zack were to go out and say something outrageous or have a really bad slip up, I would write it down and let him know all about it. But sometimes I even make the quote board. Those are the best. It is always a plus to be able to just laugh at something and take life just a little less serious than it is. I hate staying up at night analyzing something way deeper than it's supposed to be. But I think just about everyone has done that at least once.

The other day my roommates and I started talking about random quotes we had said in our lives and we started talking about good mission blunders. When you learn another language you are bound to make horrible language mistakes. For example I went to a door and we were trying to get in. The man asked us how long our short message would be. I then said "Mesajul nostru dureaza numai 15 saptamani." I thought I did good and I turned to my trainer to get his approval that I had said something good when I saw the biggest smile on his face. The person inside even started to laugh. It wasn't the best sign that I had said something good. So I asked my companion after the guy closed the door what I had said. "Apparently you told the guy that our message only lasts fifteen weeks." I really couldn't grasp how I had screwed up that bad. But that isn't the worst one, luckily. I had another companion and we were in a discussion when my companion started to talk about Adam and Eve. What he said in effect translates into "And Adam and Eve ate the forbidden baby." What made it even more hilarious is that he said this with the straightest most serious face I have ever seen on anyone. I couldn't help but crack a smile.

I love thinking about those kinds of stories because they remind me of good times and it makes me more optimistic for whats going to come.

7. The Way I View the World

If you were to ask someone "where are you from?" the answer is generally pretty standard. "I'm from Seattle, or I'm from California, etc." They generally talk about their homes with love and affection. Then they ask you where you are from. You could generally say anything. I always say I'm from Kansas. I've found that people generally aren't really interested in knowing that you've lived in 11 different locations. Nor are they interested in knowing that you have lived for 6 of the past 10 years outside of the country in Europe. The longest I stayed in any one spot has been three years. That was the longest time I stayed in any one home. Not many people are interested in that. They just want a nice simple and concise answer. Kansas. That was where graduated from high school. If someone wanted to ask me questions about that place or who lives there I could sure tell them a thing or two. That's all they want. But this in itself can open up some fun oppurtunities.

Many people attach an identity to a place or group of friends. I get to invent a new one every few years. Every now and again I lie about my past and see what people think. I have been a jock, a nerd, and a silent antisocial geek a few times. It is fun to see what groups of friends I can attract when I am playing my different roles. Sometimes I even go by different names. The most memorable year was when I went by my middle name in public. There are still people that refer to me by that other name to this day. It just gets hard to explain why family members call me something else.

Generally I find that people are pretty simple. People like to think that they are unique. Many go around and boast about their different victories and pretend that they are the only ones that have ever done what they've done. They just happen to be wrong. the best example have of this is people who talk about supernatural encounters. I've lived in three different countries and almost without fail I will hear a ghost story every other week. Sometimes I will get two in a week. I have no idea what it is that makes people want to talk to me about ghosts but I guess I just have this big sign on my head that tells crazy people to find me and tell me their scary story. They are all pretty much the same scary tale but in the end they always ask if I have ever heard a story like that. It's like their way of saying "Yeah I AM the only person that had that happen to them so I deserve some respect." I hate telling people that they are wrong in that regard. I did it a few times. They told their story and wanted taht special confirmation. I told one guy that it was probably the eight time that had heard a story like that. After that comes the counter argument and another fantastical story. If they really keep at it they will just get angry at you and storm off. Its almost like you wounded their pride. So most times I just take the innocent white lie approach. It sure makes them feel a lot better and their status as ghost expert remains intact.

In the end we all just run around filling certain roles. some people are aware of that others simply aren't. I like playing my role but sometimes I play a different one just for fun. It makes life very entertaining and it keeps me excited. The world is what we make of it and we can really enjoy ourselves if we want to.

6. The Waiting Game

Sometimes the most important thing about staying awake through the night is to just not get paranoid or go crazy. It takes forever just about to learn how to play the waiting game. Most people don't know what it's like to wait for the sunrise. They wake up and the sun is there just waiting for them shining and letting them know it's time to get up. I sit and wait first the sun makes the sky turn a grayish color then it slowly gets brighter to where you can see most things outside without having to stare hard. Then it gets to the point where it starts to peak over the mountains and you get that really pretty orange pink and red sunrise that everybody wants to see. It takes a lot of patience to see that happen and not go crazy. It also takes a lot of patience waiting for other things.

I have a really old computer. My dad gave me the old family computer when I came to college so he could buy himself a new one. He generally upgrades this way. The downside is that my father loves to work on things that make his computer get boggled up with idle programs and by the time that it is mine I will be lucky if my computer will open a program after five minutes. I am used to it so I let it slide and make myself a cup of hot apple cider. Generally by the time I get finished with that I can use my computer. Not all people are like this. My roommate Zach gets angry if his computer takes 5 seconds to open a file. Nothing can be fast enough for him with one exception. He enjoys taking his time when it comes to meeting girls. I like it better when I know exactly what I'm getting myself into. I hate it when after three weeks of dating I find out that she wasn't serious at all and that she basically played me from the start.

But sometimes what takes the longest is getting a good idea to write about. Some people experience writer's block in many ways. Most people just have no idea what to say. Sometimes it can be only a few hours before you are struck with the perfect idea. sometimes the inability to write something worthwhile will plague someone for years. Personally I generally fit into the "a couple of days category." It still drives me nuts but it is absolutely great when I get the job done. It just seems to me that You have to wait for the best things in life. A little patience really can go a long way.

5. What You Least Expect

Sometimes I worry a lot about things. Many times I have a really good reason to be worried about whatever it is that troubles me. For example Susan from a few posts back actually did end up dumping me. We just made it into the two weeks after "I love you" category. That is improvement but at the same time I still ended up by myself. Hence I had a really well founded fear.

But there are other times when I have a fear of something and it ends up being absolutely nothing. For example, in high school I wanted to join the football team. For some inexplicable reason I thought that my parents would find it to be too dangerous and hence not let me play. I put off telling them for a few weeks. Eventually they found out that I wanted to join the team from my brother and were actually very supportive of my decision to play football.

Unfortunately whether or not the fears were founded or unfounded it doesn't change the fact that I lost sleep over these things and continue to lose sleep over other things. One particular case in point would be what do I do about this girl that I just met at a dance the other night? Do I ask her out again? Does she like me enough to want to go out on another date? what would I do with this girl if she said yes?

A more pressing situation surrounds my research paper. Is my thesis statement good enough? Does it address what I want it to address? Will this be a piece of work that I can in good conscience turn in and say that I gave it my best effort?

Sometimes these situations come up out of nowhere. I worry about them all of the time. One time I had a friend who asked me why I don't get enough sleep. Do I try to solve all the problems in my world all the time or do I just worry too much about the things that aren't that important?

I never expected to have all these things weighing in on my mind, but they are there. In the end I really don't know what I'm supposed to do about every situation that pops up, but it doesn't keep me from trying.

4. Halloween Outings and No Shows

I know a lot of people that love Halloween especially college students. I like the holiday to a point but sometimes I think it is a bit too much. Every year there are at least 15 parties going on in a very near radius. I hate going to parties. I think that they are just an excuse for people to get rowdy and do things that they otherwise wouldn't do. On Halloween there was a party at my apartment complex that got way out of hand. People got nice and intoxicated and then started to grope each other. I'm sorry but that really doesn't seem like that is a lot of fun. I hate huge groups of people that act like morons. I generally like small groups. That's why I went with a friend to a haunted house that evening instead. There are much better things to do than hang out with drunk people.

But even if they aren't drunk I still hate parties. I once had a group of friends and we would party all the time. We had our group of five or six and that was big enough. Then one day my dad the bishop decided that it was a great reactivation tool and invited all the youth in the ward without telling me. In the end that was the ast time I ever organized something like that at home and the last time I ever had a party. I don't even like birthday parties anymore. I hate having to please everyone that comes in and then see someone else get offended over something that doesn't even matter. Anyhow, I like things to be a little bit quieter. I hate interrupting people and getting interrupted and that is just what happens at these kinds of things.

Maybe I just feel like I'm the kind of person that doesn't belong in these kinds of parties or in parties in general. Maybe I still feel like an awkward kid and don't feel like I would be accepted there. Either way I still like doing other things better.

3. The Weight of the World

I swear sometimes I feel like everything going on around me in some way depends on me. I feel like everything is going to fail if I don't do my part. For example at church if I don't get the right guy to teach the lesson everything will be a catastrophic failure. But this doesn't just apply to church. Let's take school for an example. If I don't attend all of my classes and get all of my assignments done perfectly then the world has reached its end. Just thinking about school assignments is enough to keep me up at night.

In the next few weeks I will have a research project due. I am doing my paper on torture but there are a million ways I can take this. I could talk all about the CIA and their use of waterboarding as a means of "enhanced interrogation" or I could talk about military interrogation of detainees during wartime. There are a million ways I could spin it.

I could then augment my argument with some statistics regarding the views of Americans regarding torture. I found it really surprising that 43 percent of Americans find it acceptable and even encourage it. In the end, I am just thinking way too much about all of this. I think it stresses me out and maybe that keeps me up.

Who am I kidding. Even if I didn't have the assignment there would be many other things on my mind for example: Susan dumped me the other day, I have 3 dates planned with different girls, and my new niece is causing problems of her own.

Basically everything has a way of adding to things in my life to the point that I don't think I will ever have a moment of pure bliss and peace. Anyhow it sure helps that I have all the time in the world to think about these things.

2. How Do You Define Torture?

So torture, I have no idea where to begin. I was researching a paper I am writing on the ethics of torture and I tried to figure out different methods of torture. There are your basic methods of torture: waterboarding, electrocution, bamboo shoots between the fingernails, etc., but then there are your other methods. Starvation and sleep depravation. I got kind of curious when I looked at the sleep depravation.

I've been an insomniac for a few years now and lately I've been spending my nights awake rather than sleeping. I don't feel like I'm really all that different from everybody else. I still get all my school work done, but I definitely have a lot more time to do fun things. I never really thought of my sleeplessness as a problem. I just found it to give me a lot of free time. But recently I have been looking at it from a different angle.

People have used sleep depravation as a way of cracking people and getting them to talk and eventually go insane. I don't know how I feel about this. Do I torture myself all night long? Sometimes I do want to go to sleep and I just can't and it gets depressing but for the most part I just have fun and watch something relaxing.

The jury is still out as to whether or not I torture myself at night. For the most part I don't think I do, but we will see how it goes.

1. Of All the Things to Keep Me Up at Night

Generally at night when other people are sleeping I spend the night staying awake. The quiet hours of the night are often the best for thinking ,reflecting, and figuring problems out. But, sometimes there are those situations that throw you for a complete loop and keep you completely occupied for hours. One of those situations for me is dating.



So I started dating this girl, Susan, a few weeks ago. Things have been great so far, but in the back of my mind there always is that irrational fear that she will up and leave without much notice at all. When I am with her these fears aren't anywhere in the relationship, but when I lay down alone at night and get to thinking, it keeps me up.



I think about how things ended with my first few girlfriends. A sad fact is that every single time I have told a girl that I loved her she has broken up with me within 24 hours. My second girlfriend Erin is a prime example of this. After three and a half months of dating, I finally worked up the courage to tell her that I loved her. It should have been one of the most spectacular nights we spent together. In the end, it was the last night we spent together. She seemed to think that it was too early to even think about things like love. We aparently needed to re-evaluate our relationship maybe even scale things back a bit. One thing I have learned from dating though is that once you hit a point there is no going back. Either your relationship works or it crumbles. That night I found myself eating ice cream all by myself trying to figure something out. I still don't know what went wrong



I told Susan two days ago that I loved her. I am in new territory. It is exciting and at the same time I am scared that something bad is going to happen. I guess we will just have to see what goes on this week. But I think everything is going to be all right. Either way it is just one thing I think about when I lay down to sleep. I just worry too much.