14. Speechless

OK I don't know if any of you ever feel like this but whenever I'm trying to impress someone I feel like I never say the right thing. I feel like I just screw everything up and say everything wrong. For example I can ramble on all day about books I've read and about the different things I am interested in studying but when it comes down to deeply personal things I choke. I think I try to impress people too much or maybe I try too hard. For example the other day I was talking to a girl I wanted to impress and I started talking about different books I'd read. Who in their right mind ever talks about Billy Bud in normal conversation? I don't think that anyone ever talks about that unless their a super nerd which I apparently am. I always thought that I was just a regular guy that just happened to be smart but recently I think I've crossed into the realm of really nerdy.

Anyhow this doesn't really help with the fact that I still have the tendency to freeze up when it comes to talking to girls I really like. Maybe this problem isn't merely limited to me. I was talking to my roommate and it seems that every time he tries to talk to the girl he likes he seems to freeze up. He is a very social guy that doesn't have the nerd problem but he still has the "I don't know what to say issue." Maybe it is a sad defect of the Y chromosome. We really don't know how to please our unfortunate halves. Then again I can think of plenty of guys that definitely know how to please their other halves so maybe it deals with the fact that I'm just plain weird. I came to grips with that years ago. I just never thought that it would ever come back to haunt me or give me problems.

At least I don't find myself asking what her favorite ring size is or what her ideal family size would be. I think that would be downright tacky. Then again I tend to be tacky sometimes.