18. Nothing Like Chocolate to Make You Feel Better

I don't care who you are chocolate makes you feel better when something horrible happens to you. When all of your plans go completely down the drain and the people you trust turn away from you chocolate does not. For instance let's say that I were put in one of those situations where every possible choice had a negative consequence. Hypothetically speaking let's say there was a girl that kept on stalking me to ridiculous ends and I was in no way attracted to her. I thought I had been more than obvious in letting her know that I didn't like her but apparently I wasn't blunt enough. It didn't help that I ended a relationship that day and wasn't really in the mood to deal with her in the right way. Mind you this is all of course extremely hypothetical. So during the time that I would have been on a date that had been planned all week but abruptly canceled, I hypothetically decided to hang out with one of my friends. She also happens to be the roommate of the hypothetical stalker girl. I don't think that stalker girl is home so I just hang out and have a fun time. I agree to go to a house party with my friend and her boyfriend when stalker girl wakes up from her nap.

This is the moment where I would hypothetically start regretting accepting the party invitation. Of course stalker girl decided to come to the party too. She loves parties and insists on giving me a hug. At this point in the hypothetical situation, I would come up with a very sarcastic and seemingly rude comment. I believe that off the top of my head I might make a reference to Frankenstein and imply that I have no idea why she is standing with her arms wide open. I might also insist that she should sit down. I think I'm being very obvious. She thinks I'm teasing.

Later at the hypothetical party, I don't really know anyone. She insists on sitting right next to me. I'm sorry but I don't think it is cool when someone starts staring at me every five seconds. Then the most insane situation arises. I am sitting next to stalker girl when the host of the party shows up with her friend. Now there are some things to know here. One stalker girl is very loud obnoxious and not very bright. These are things that I absolutely cannot stand in a girl. I can deal with people that aren't smart. They generally have other qualities that make up for it. Example, my best friend in Kansas is not intelligent by any means but he has a way of talking to people that makes them feel better. He is very personable and what he may lack in intelligence he makes up through networking. Stalker girl seems to play on her non-existing intelligence and tries to make a show of her helplessness. In a hypothetical world or even in the real world I will never find that attractive. On the other hand if we return to the hosts friend she is very kind soft spoken and intelligent. I believe I see the obvious choice that I would make if I had to choose between the two girls. So I ended up talking to the new girl for about an hour. Everything was going great. I made a few comments to the stalker girl so I wouldn't completely destroy her feelings when I ran into one of those morally difficult decisions. All of this being hypothetical of course.

"So my roommates and I have this dare going on in relation to Christmas..." She motioned over to the mistletoe that was so conveniently placed just a few feet away. The dare was to kiss a boy on the cheek under the mistletoe before the Christmas holiday. She wondered if I could help her. OK, basically she was wondering if I wanted to kiss her. I'm not that hypothetically blind. For most people this would be a no-brainer. As for me, I found myself sitting next to stalker girl who had been listening to the whole conversation. I can only imagine the horrible things she thought about as I had my conversation. I think it took me all of two seconds to figure out that this is probably the most amazing situation that I could ever find myself in.

The next thing I hypothetically remember involves me getting a soft kiss on the cheek. In the history of the kiss there are many that rank higher on the scale, but not in my book. I don't really go around kissing every girl I see, but this was amazing. I've never been kissed under mistletoe before. To top it off she was also very attractive. That still doesn't change the fact that stalker girl got extremely offended and may have stormed off in a hurry. I don't remember if there were tears involved. I had another ride home. In the end I ended up with a date and many angry text messages. Of course something like this is so imaginative it has to be fiction.

However if I were in a situation like this I would feel sad that i hurt someone's feelings. I really hate doing that. But I decided that if I have to choose between making myself miserable and making someone else miserable I know what I will choose. I'm not talking about going to the orchestra because my date loves it and I don't, I'm not talking about spending crazy hours doing service projects to help other people when I could be relaxing. I am talking about putting myself in a position to hurt myself emotionally. I don't deserve to be stuck in a relationship that is doomed from the start. I don't think the other person deserves that either. So I choose to be happy. I choose to make my life what I want it to be. For all the other times when I have heartaches and troubles there is always chocolate. It never runs away from me. It doesn't care that someone texted you that you were an animal and deserved to be thrown into oblivion. It just sits there and waits for you. It waits just like the right opportunity, waiting for you to rise and shine in the moment.

By the way she is really cute. I just thought I would throw that in.