8. The Quote Board

I don't know how many people do this but I keep a quote board with all the random funny things people say. If my roommate Zack were to go out and say something outrageous or have a really bad slip up, I would write it down and let him know all about it. But sometimes I even make the quote board. Those are the best. It is always a plus to be able to just laugh at something and take life just a little less serious than it is. I hate staying up at night analyzing something way deeper than it's supposed to be. But I think just about everyone has done that at least once.

The other day my roommates and I started talking about random quotes we had said in our lives and we started talking about good mission blunders. When you learn another language you are bound to make horrible language mistakes. For example I went to a door and we were trying to get in. The man asked us how long our short message would be. I then said "Mesajul nostru dureaza numai 15 saptamani." I thought I did good and I turned to my trainer to get his approval that I had said something good when I saw the biggest smile on his face. The person inside even started to laugh. It wasn't the best sign that I had said something good. So I asked my companion after the guy closed the door what I had said. "Apparently you told the guy that our message only lasts fifteen weeks." I really couldn't grasp how I had screwed up that bad. But that isn't the worst one, luckily. I had another companion and we were in a discussion when my companion started to talk about Adam and Eve. What he said in effect translates into "And Adam and Eve ate the forbidden baby." What made it even more hilarious is that he said this with the straightest most serious face I have ever seen on anyone. I couldn't help but crack a smile.

I love thinking about those kinds of stories because they remind me of good times and it makes me more optimistic for whats going to come.

7. The Way I View the World

If you were to ask someone "where are you from?" the answer is generally pretty standard. "I'm from Seattle, or I'm from California, etc." They generally talk about their homes with love and affection. Then they ask you where you are from. You could generally say anything. I always say I'm from Kansas. I've found that people generally aren't really interested in knowing that you've lived in 11 different locations. Nor are they interested in knowing that you have lived for 6 of the past 10 years outside of the country in Europe. The longest I stayed in any one spot has been three years. That was the longest time I stayed in any one home. Not many people are interested in that. They just want a nice simple and concise answer. Kansas. That was where graduated from high school. If someone wanted to ask me questions about that place or who lives there I could sure tell them a thing or two. That's all they want. But this in itself can open up some fun oppurtunities.

Many people attach an identity to a place or group of friends. I get to invent a new one every few years. Every now and again I lie about my past and see what people think. I have been a jock, a nerd, and a silent antisocial geek a few times. It is fun to see what groups of friends I can attract when I am playing my different roles. Sometimes I even go by different names. The most memorable year was when I went by my middle name in public. There are still people that refer to me by that other name to this day. It just gets hard to explain why family members call me something else.

Generally I find that people are pretty simple. People like to think that they are unique. Many go around and boast about their different victories and pretend that they are the only ones that have ever done what they've done. They just happen to be wrong. the best example have of this is people who talk about supernatural encounters. I've lived in three different countries and almost without fail I will hear a ghost story every other week. Sometimes I will get two in a week. I have no idea what it is that makes people want to talk to me about ghosts but I guess I just have this big sign on my head that tells crazy people to find me and tell me their scary story. They are all pretty much the same scary tale but in the end they always ask if I have ever heard a story like that. It's like their way of saying "Yeah I AM the only person that had that happen to them so I deserve some respect." I hate telling people that they are wrong in that regard. I did it a few times. They told their story and wanted taht special confirmation. I told one guy that it was probably the eight time that had heard a story like that. After that comes the counter argument and another fantastical story. If they really keep at it they will just get angry at you and storm off. Its almost like you wounded their pride. So most times I just take the innocent white lie approach. It sure makes them feel a lot better and their status as ghost expert remains intact.

In the end we all just run around filling certain roles. some people are aware of that others simply aren't. I like playing my role but sometimes I play a different one just for fun. It makes life very entertaining and it keeps me excited. The world is what we make of it and we can really enjoy ourselves if we want to.

6. The Waiting Game

Sometimes the most important thing about staying awake through the night is to just not get paranoid or go crazy. It takes forever just about to learn how to play the waiting game. Most people don't know what it's like to wait for the sunrise. They wake up and the sun is there just waiting for them shining and letting them know it's time to get up. I sit and wait first the sun makes the sky turn a grayish color then it slowly gets brighter to where you can see most things outside without having to stare hard. Then it gets to the point where it starts to peak over the mountains and you get that really pretty orange pink and red sunrise that everybody wants to see. It takes a lot of patience to see that happen and not go crazy. It also takes a lot of patience waiting for other things.

I have a really old computer. My dad gave me the old family computer when I came to college so he could buy himself a new one. He generally upgrades this way. The downside is that my father loves to work on things that make his computer get boggled up with idle programs and by the time that it is mine I will be lucky if my computer will open a program after five minutes. I am used to it so I let it slide and make myself a cup of hot apple cider. Generally by the time I get finished with that I can use my computer. Not all people are like this. My roommate Zach gets angry if his computer takes 5 seconds to open a file. Nothing can be fast enough for him with one exception. He enjoys taking his time when it comes to meeting girls. I like it better when I know exactly what I'm getting myself into. I hate it when after three weeks of dating I find out that she wasn't serious at all and that she basically played me from the start.

But sometimes what takes the longest is getting a good idea to write about. Some people experience writer's block in many ways. Most people just have no idea what to say. Sometimes it can be only a few hours before you are struck with the perfect idea. sometimes the inability to write something worthwhile will plague someone for years. Personally I generally fit into the "a couple of days category." It still drives me nuts but it is absolutely great when I get the job done. It just seems to me that You have to wait for the best things in life. A little patience really can go a long way.

5. What You Least Expect

Sometimes I worry a lot about things. Many times I have a really good reason to be worried about whatever it is that troubles me. For example Susan from a few posts back actually did end up dumping me. We just made it into the two weeks after "I love you" category. That is improvement but at the same time I still ended up by myself. Hence I had a really well founded fear.

But there are other times when I have a fear of something and it ends up being absolutely nothing. For example, in high school I wanted to join the football team. For some inexplicable reason I thought that my parents would find it to be too dangerous and hence not let me play. I put off telling them for a few weeks. Eventually they found out that I wanted to join the team from my brother and were actually very supportive of my decision to play football.

Unfortunately whether or not the fears were founded or unfounded it doesn't change the fact that I lost sleep over these things and continue to lose sleep over other things. One particular case in point would be what do I do about this girl that I just met at a dance the other night? Do I ask her out again? Does she like me enough to want to go out on another date? what would I do with this girl if she said yes?

A more pressing situation surrounds my research paper. Is my thesis statement good enough? Does it address what I want it to address? Will this be a piece of work that I can in good conscience turn in and say that I gave it my best effort?

Sometimes these situations come up out of nowhere. I worry about them all of the time. One time I had a friend who asked me why I don't get enough sleep. Do I try to solve all the problems in my world all the time or do I just worry too much about the things that aren't that important?

I never expected to have all these things weighing in on my mind, but they are there. In the end I really don't know what I'm supposed to do about every situation that pops up, but it doesn't keep me from trying.

4. Halloween Outings and No Shows

I know a lot of people that love Halloween especially college students. I like the holiday to a point but sometimes I think it is a bit too much. Every year there are at least 15 parties going on in a very near radius. I hate going to parties. I think that they are just an excuse for people to get rowdy and do things that they otherwise wouldn't do. On Halloween there was a party at my apartment complex that got way out of hand. People got nice and intoxicated and then started to grope each other. I'm sorry but that really doesn't seem like that is a lot of fun. I hate huge groups of people that act like morons. I generally like small groups. That's why I went with a friend to a haunted house that evening instead. There are much better things to do than hang out with drunk people.

But even if they aren't drunk I still hate parties. I once had a group of friends and we would party all the time. We had our group of five or six and that was big enough. Then one day my dad the bishop decided that it was a great reactivation tool and invited all the youth in the ward without telling me. In the end that was the ast time I ever organized something like that at home and the last time I ever had a party. I don't even like birthday parties anymore. I hate having to please everyone that comes in and then see someone else get offended over something that doesn't even matter. Anyhow, I like things to be a little bit quieter. I hate interrupting people and getting interrupted and that is just what happens at these kinds of things.

Maybe I just feel like I'm the kind of person that doesn't belong in these kinds of parties or in parties in general. Maybe I still feel like an awkward kid and don't feel like I would be accepted there. Either way I still like doing other things better.

3. The Weight of the World

I swear sometimes I feel like everything going on around me in some way depends on me. I feel like everything is going to fail if I don't do my part. For example at church if I don't get the right guy to teach the lesson everything will be a catastrophic failure. But this doesn't just apply to church. Let's take school for an example. If I don't attend all of my classes and get all of my assignments done perfectly then the world has reached its end. Just thinking about school assignments is enough to keep me up at night.

In the next few weeks I will have a research project due. I am doing my paper on torture but there are a million ways I can take this. I could talk all about the CIA and their use of waterboarding as a means of "enhanced interrogation" or I could talk about military interrogation of detainees during wartime. There are a million ways I could spin it.

I could then augment my argument with some statistics regarding the views of Americans regarding torture. I found it really surprising that 43 percent of Americans find it acceptable and even encourage it. In the end, I am just thinking way too much about all of this. I think it stresses me out and maybe that keeps me up.

Who am I kidding. Even if I didn't have the assignment there would be many other things on my mind for example: Susan dumped me the other day, I have 3 dates planned with different girls, and my new niece is causing problems of her own.

Basically everything has a way of adding to things in my life to the point that I don't think I will ever have a moment of pure bliss and peace. Anyhow it sure helps that I have all the time in the world to think about these things.

2. How Do You Define Torture?

So torture, I have no idea where to begin. I was researching a paper I am writing on the ethics of torture and I tried to figure out different methods of torture. There are your basic methods of torture: waterboarding, electrocution, bamboo shoots between the fingernails, etc., but then there are your other methods. Starvation and sleep depravation. I got kind of curious when I looked at the sleep depravation.

I've been an insomniac for a few years now and lately I've been spending my nights awake rather than sleeping. I don't feel like I'm really all that different from everybody else. I still get all my school work done, but I definitely have a lot more time to do fun things. I never really thought of my sleeplessness as a problem. I just found it to give me a lot of free time. But recently I have been looking at it from a different angle.

People have used sleep depravation as a way of cracking people and getting them to talk and eventually go insane. I don't know how I feel about this. Do I torture myself all night long? Sometimes I do want to go to sleep and I just can't and it gets depressing but for the most part I just have fun and watch something relaxing.

The jury is still out as to whether or not I torture myself at night. For the most part I don't think I do, but we will see how it goes.